Saturday, March 13, 2010


The most happening phrase nowadays is "Are you going to do a Tiger Woods?" or the next famous local phrase is "Are you going to do a Jack Neo?" Well, these two issues have hit the world in a big way, making it seems like even those who are role models are fallen to the temptation of women. Therefore, don't judge a book by its cover or never think that still water doesn't have crocodiles. Of course, women fall for rich married guys because of money. Sometimes it could be both good looks and money. Sometimes it is both money and fame. Even men with religion are also unfaithful, regardless of what is taught about adultery. Hmm, Britney Spears' Womanizer song seems to be the most appropriate thing that comes to my mind.

I was queuing up at the bank yesterday when two ladies in front of me were talking about the Jack Neo topic.

Lady #1: Well, all men are the same. They are all cheaters.
Lady #2: Hey, don't talk so loud (while looking at me who is a man)
Lady #1: But it is a fact. They are very proned to cheat on their wives. Especially the world today where temptations are everywhere.
Lady #2: Yeah!
Lady #1: He (Jack Neo) is just unlucky to be exposed. Most men did it but the matter is hidden well.
Lady #2: He should have checked the Internet on the lady's background and behaviour before tackling her. The old man may think that girls these days are still like the old days who will just cry and keep the story to themselves. He didn't expect her to be the type who will blow matters out!
Lady #1: Yeah, and the wife is extremely stupid too to still support him just like Tiger Woods. It is simple because their husbands are rich. If they are poor, they would have divorce them straight away. This means they still depend on their husband. Of course the children upbringing is another issue.
Lady #2: The wife should not even be at the press conference. Jack Neo should go himself. If they go together, it is as if both of them are responsible. He should go alone and apologize himself.
Lady #1: Yeah, she is the victim here but it ended up like she is also the accomplice.
Bank finally opens and the conversation ends there...

I guess there is some truth in their opinions over there. That's why you have a phrase like seven year itch. A friend of mine used to ask me: You are not bored of eating char kueh tiaw everyday? He is referring to being faithful to a single lady. He said he has to have char kueh tiaw, hokkien mee, rice, beehoon and so on. Well, it is true, his lifestyle is like that, having multiple girlfriends at a time or having one girl after another and another and another. He use the analogy of getting bored for eating the same food 24/7 to refer to faithfulness. I know at least two other friends who are like that and boast with me how many girls they sleep with. I don't know about others who don't admit to me. I guess the article below explains the human nature of men. After seeing my friends as examples, I have to agree with the article. 50% of US men cheat in their marriages! That's a high probability for infidelity. 1 in 2 men cheat in their marriage!

The Chinese always say that when you have money and power, you will want to cheat, forget about the 7 years itch if you make fortune and fame in less than 7 years.

I guess even with the religion and the marriage vow, men can still be unfaithful. Here is the typical marriage vow:
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I mean if you really love and honour your wife as stated in the vow, you really then love her. If not, there is no point getting married to her if you bound to cheat in the future. Just remain single to sleep with every girl you want to and you end up not hurting anybody else. Unless you are Edison Chen. You don't need religion or the marriage vow to restrain you. It is as if you need laws to be in place to make you faithful. Therefore you do it for the sake of abiding the laws of men and God. In other words, you are not sincerely in love, you are just forcing yourself to behave for the sake of passing the standards of men and God. I guess God Almighty being the ever knowing knows man is one itchy creature and thus had to implement laws to counter adultery and cheating on the girlfriend.

As for me, as a normal man, I know how the temptation of hot sexy babes are like. If you ask Megan Fox, Giselle Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Leah Dizon and/or Scarlett Johansson to stand in front of me, I will have weaked knees. Hehehe! I believe no man can resist her/them even if she/they just stare at you. I admire beautiful and sexy ladies. A guy who don't must be screwed down there. Hehe! The difference is you admire and respect their beauty. That's it. It is not because you have a wife or children or obeying God's words and therefore you behave. You must nail it in your mind that this is the boundary line and that's all it is. Don't think of anything funny. You have to be sincere in love, forget about responsibilities, commitments and behaving to look good, all those are superficial. In the end, you either cheat yourself or you don't cheat yourself. The guilt is with you, not with others.

Therefore, I guess the greatest achievement of every man on earth is to be the other 50%, which is the percentage who has the ability to fight the temptation and stay loyal to your wife, no matter whether you are rich or poor and famous or common. Sexy hot babes are hard to resist for any normal men. It is probably men's weakest attribute.

I want to prove those two ladies queuing up in front of me and the famous saying that all men are cheaters that there are still faithful men around! So what if it is human nature or male instinct? I am not the emperor of ancient China for goodness sake or living in the era where the man can have polygamy commonly in the society where the status of the woman is very low. Hey, even if I am single, I will remain faithful. Char kueh tiaw all my life? I can live with that. It is in my opinion much much better than being vegetarian! Not all men are cheaters!

Approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, estimates Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada - Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist.

That number hasn’t changed much since 1950, when the famous Kinsey sex study found that 50% of U.S. men cheat at some point in their marriages.

Why They Cheat
The No.1 reason: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (BasicBooks).

“They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says.

That’s because it’s very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible they’re biologically programmed to mate with many women.

“The ‘payoff’ in reproductive currencies [kids] of a short-term mating strategy generally has been higher for men than women,” Buss says.

So after thousands of generations, “this has forged in the male brain a desire for sexual variety.”

Other top reasons men cheat? They’re unhappy with their mates - and extramarital sex is cheaper and easier to get these days, Buss says.

And "power wives" beware: Being married to a high-profile guy ups the odds he’ll wander.

“Women are attracted to men who have power and status, so public figures usually have plenty of opportunity,” Buss says.



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