Wednesday, July 30, 2008


In Johor Bahru, you have the most "COOLEST" traffic lights on the planet. I assure you that you will never ever experience such traffic lights in any other places on the planet. If you do, please share with me the location and I would really like to go there to experience it!

Types of traffic lights we have:
1. Fuctional - OK, this is referred to functional traffic lights which suppose to work in the sequence of green, yellow and red lights. You should have this by default anywhere.

2. Combos - This is the most unique traffic light you will ever find here. Red + Green, Red + Yellow, Yellow + Green, Red + Yellow + Green. Yeah, you should have the same dilemma as I do when you reach the junction. To go or not to go, that's the question. I drove through the red + green combo and yellow + green combo before.

3. Flashing Combos - This is the second most unique traffic light I have ever seen. They flash the combinations in Type 2 continuously. Same as above, the open ended question is to stop or not to stop.

4. Half Dead - Some of the 3 lights are spoilt so you need to really know when it is your turn to cross because the red or green or yellow light is not operational. Sometimes, it could be a combo of 2 of them not functioning.

5. Fully Dead - There are many non-operational traffic lights (all lights out in one side, 2 sides, 3 sides or all 4 sides of the road) in Johor Bahru. It is common to experience one a month minimum. Sometimes, the same one can be spoilt multiple times a year.

6. Invincible
- There are a few junctions where the traffic lights are built too far away from the stop line. Therefore, in such junctions, you always require the second or third vehicle to honk the first one to tell him/her that the light has turned green.

7. Identical - Yes, this is even cooler! The best of the best and my favourite type of traffic light. You feel like you are watching the latest Die Hard movie (Live Free or Die Hard) and you thought this type only appears in movies. You will be so wrong when you come to Johor Bahru because you get to experience what the drivers experienced in that Die Hard movie in this vibrant city. Now you should not discard anything you see in the movies as fake stuffs as the wise elders have told you.

All four sides could have the same colour! Yes, everyone has green or red at the same time. The brave ones will have to decide whether to go or stop. I also experience this one countless of times. I just follow beside the giant vehicles like the buses or the lorries to cross so at least they can shield me off if another brave one wanted to go through from the other side.

8. Rojak
- All the above mixed in different combinations for all the three or four sides of the junction.

What do the authorities do when Type 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 are found?

1. Total Blindness - Nothing is done, cross the junction at your own risk and courage.

2. Seal Off Part of the Junction - Very easy, come with some yellow DO NO CROSS banner that the police use to seal off the scene of the crime and simply block off 1/4 or 1/3 or 1/2 of the traffic junction and let the people travel extra kilometres because Malaysia has the CHEAPEST petrol on the planet and the drivers love to do U Turns. Yeah, we are loving it!

I had crossed through many dangerous traffic light junctions which has Type 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8. Once, just after I crossed dangerously, an accident occurred right after. Can they claim insurance from that kind of situation when all the traffic lights are at fault? I don't know why the traffic lights, especially the same ones keep on getting spoilt all the time.

The same traffic lights can go down more than three times a month and sometimes left unrepaired for some time. This is not just for small one or two-lane roads, sometimes the main roads which have up to four lanes on each side. They can leave it like that for the whole day! There is also one traffic light junction which has faulty traffic lights. You know what they do? They just seal off the road and force you to drive down over at least 8km just to make a U Turn to go to the place you wanted to go. Since they use really huge heavy objects to seal it off, I think it will remain like that for quite some time or even permanently.

I have never experience more CREATIVE traffic lights in any other places I had driven before. You know what? Stunt drivers should come to Johor Bahru to practise their skills before they qualify and be certified as stunt drivers in the movies. I think I have found a niche market and will set up the best STUNT DRIVING SCHOOL in Asia (able to challenge those in the States). I shall call it DieHardX's Stunt Drivin' Skool Pte. Ltd. (the best in JB, Singapore and some say the whole of Asia). Need for Speed or Burnout fans? This is as real as it gets baby! You guys want to experience the real thing? Come to Johor Bahru, the vibrant stunt driving town! I dare to say you can never experience another place on earth to have 8 types of traffic lights (at times a few of them at the same time). Somebody prove me wrong! TopGear should also document the experience of driving the roads here. I am sure they have never seen anything like that before.



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